LONG list of stupid euphemisms

LONG list of stupid euphemisms

A beer short of a six pack
A brick short of a load
A couple of eggs shy of a dozen
A couple of gallons short of a full tank
A few ants short of a picnic
A few beers short of a six-pack
A few bricks short of a pile
A few bricks short of a wall
A few cards short of a deck
A few clowns short of a circus.
A few feathers short of a whole duck
A few fries short of a Happy Meal
A few of sheep short of an orgy
A few peas short of a casserole
A few tomatoes short of a good thick sauce
A few trucks short of a convoy
A fortune cookie short of a Chinese dinner
A pepperoni short of a pizza
A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on
A sandwich short of a picnic
A train short of a full service?
About as bright as a burnt out 20 watt light bulb.
About as useful as a chocolate fireguard
Ah say, that boy reminds me of Paul Revere's ride; a little light in the elfry
An experiment in Artificial Stupidity
An intellect rivalled only by garden tools
As much use as a hedgehog in a condom factory
As much use as a one legged man at an ass kicking contest.
As much use as a priests knob at an orgy.
As much use as an ashtray on a motorcycle
As much use as Stevie Wonder at a beauty contest.
As quick as a tortoise on Prozac
As smart as bait
As useful as a screen door on a submarine
As useful as a wooden frying pan
As useful as **** on a bull
Body by God, Mind by Mattel.
Bright as Alaska in December
Couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel
Doesn’t have both oars in the water
Doesn't have all his cornflakes in one box
Doesn't have all his dogs on one leash
Doesn't have all the dots on his dice
Donated his body to science before he was done using it
Dumb as a corn cob.
Dumb as a stump.
Dumber than a bag of hammers.
Dumber than a bag of rocks
Elevator don't quiet make the top floor
Fell out of the family tree
Forgot to pay his brain bill
Goes surfing in Nebraska
Golf bag doesn’t have a full set of irons
Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all together
Got into the gene pool when the lifeguard wasn’t watching
Gross ignoramus -- 144 times worse than a normal ignoramus
Has an IQ of 2, but it takes 3 to grunt
Has delusions of adequacy.
Has two brains, one's lost and the other is out looking for it
Having an intelligence rivalled only by garden tools.
He fell out of the Stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down
He had a little too much chlorine in his gene pool.
He is so dumb, he would look for a wishbone in a soft-boiled egg.
He is so dumb, the only thing he ever read was an eye-chart.
He played too much without a helmet
He rode the short bus to school
He’s got a mind like a steel trap, rusted shut
He's got a leak in his think-tank
He's got a mind like a steel sieve
He's got his feet firmly planted 3 feet above the ground
He's not the sharpest knife in the drawer
He's so dense light bends around him
He's so dumb he couldn't pour the water out of a boot if the instructions
were on the heel
His belt doesn't go through all the loops
His cheese has slipped off his cracker
His porch light ain't on
I say, that boy is about as sharp as a sack of wet mice
If brains were chocolate - he wouldn't have enough to fill an M&M
If brains were dynamite - he wouldn't have enough to blow his nose
If brains were dynamite, he wouldn’t have enough to blow his hat off
If brains were gasoline, he couldn't ride a moped around a fruit loop
If brains were taxed, he’d get a rebate
If he had a brain, he'd be dangerous
If he had another brain, it would be lonely
If he were any more stupid, he’d have to be watered twice a week
If stupid were a talent, he would be considered gifted
If you gave him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change back
If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you’d get change
If you stand close enough to 'em you can hear the ocean
If you stand close enough to him you can hear the ocean
Isn’t firing on all 6 cylinders
Isn’t firing on all thrusters
Its hard to believe that he beat out half a billion other sperm
Kangaroo loose in the top paddock
Like a pair of children’s scissors, bright and colourful, but not too sharp
Million dollar body and a 2 dollar engine.
Mind is in neutral, body is in gear
Mind like a rubber bear trap.
Needing a few screws tightened
Not firing with all spark plugs
Not the brightest light in the harbour
Not the brightest light on the Christmas tree
Not the sharpest hook in the tackle box.
Not the sharpest pencil in the box
Off his rocker
On/off switch is broken in the off position
One Fruit Loop shy of a full bowl
One neurone short of a synapse
One taco short of a combination plate
One tit short of an udder.
One turbine short of an airplane
One-celled organisms out score him in IQ tests
Prime candidate for natural deselection
Proof that evolution CAN go in reverse
Requires directions to lay sod
Room temperature IQ
Running about a quart low
Running on empty
She's not tied too tight to the pier
Some drink from the fountain of knowledge but he just gargled
Some drink from the fountain of knowledge, he only gargled
Strong like bear, smart like tractor.
Takes him 1 1/2 hours to watch 60 minutes
The elevator is stuck between floors.
The lights are flashing, the gate is down, but the train isn’t coming
The lights are on, but nobody is home.
The wheel is turning but the hamster is dead
The wheel's spinning, but the hamster's dead
Too dumb to pull his head in before he shuts the window
Too many yards between the goal posts
Two hub caps short of a Buick.
Warning - Objects in mirror are dumber than they appear
Was left on the tilt-a-whirl too long as a baby
Would be out of her depth in a mud puddle.
Your the flower of my life (you blooming idiot)
You can't call him an idiot, you'll insult all the idiots in the world.
A safe distance from genius.
Not the sharpest tack in the box.
A few bobs short of a pound.
A few cents short of a dollar.
One vote short of an overall majority.
As quick as a tortoise on Prozac.
As fast as a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.
As quick as a sloth / tree / stationary bicycle...
As keen as a vegetable...
More vegetable than protein...
As aware as a bear in winter...
He had all his bricks, just forgot to pull the permit...
More confused than traffic in hong kong...
His train's missing an engineer...
His car has left the highway...
He'd forget to drown.
Driving without keys...
All his brain's marked "farm-fresh".
bout as sharp as a marble.
few clowns short of a circus.
Not the brightest bulb on the Christmas Tree.
A few fries short of a Happy Meal.
I wish I had a blueprint for his brain; I'm trying to build an idiot.
An experiment in Artificial Stupidity.
He only has one oar in the water.
A few beers short of a six-pack.
Dumber than a box of hair.
A few peas short of a casserole.
Doesn't have all her cornflakes in one box.
One Fruit Loop shy of a full bowl.
One taco short of a combination plate.
A few feathers short of a whole duck.
All foam, no beer.
The cheese slid off her cracker.
Body by Fisher, brains by Mattel.
Couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel.
He fell out of the Stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down.
An intellect rivaled only by garden tools.
As smart as bait.
Chimney's clogged.
Doesn't have all his dogs on one leash.
Elevator doesn't go all the way to the top floor.
Forgot to pay her brain bill.
Her sewing machine's out of thread.
His antenna doesn't pick up all the channels.
His belt doesn't go through all the loops.
If she had another brain, it would be lonely.
Missing a few buttons on his remote control.
No grain in the silo.
Proof that evolution CAN go in reverse.
Receiver is off the hook.
Several nuts short of a full pouch.
Skylight leaks a little.
Slinky's kinked.
Surfing in Nebraska.
Too much yardage between the goal posts.
Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.
The lights are on, but nobody's home.
24 cents short of a quarter.
The wheel's spinning, but the hamster's dead.
He doesn't have all the chairs around the table.
Not the sharpest tool in the shed.
About as sharp as a thimble.
A few sandwiches short of a picnic basket.
When your I.Q. rises to 28, sell.
About as deep as a saucer of milk.
Not the brightest Crayola in the box!
A few fries short of a Happy Meal
Yhe lights are on, but nobody is home.
A few cards short of a full deck.
About as deep as a thumb-tack
One can short of a six-pack
A photographic memory, but forgot to load the film.
Bright as Alaska in December.
The one that fell out of the family tree.
Some drink from the fountain of knowledge, but he just gargled.
Was left on the Tilt-A-Whirl a bit too long as a baby.
If you gave him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change back.
So dense, light bends around him.
Got into the gene pool while the lifeguard wasn't watching.
About as sharp as a marble.
A few clowns short of a circus.
Not the brightest bulb on the Christmas Tree.
A few fries short of a Happy Meal.
I wish I had a blueprint for his brain; I'm trying to build an idiot.
An experiment in Artificial Stupidity.
He only has one oar in the water.
A few beers short of a six-pack.
Dumber than a box of hair.
A few peas short of a casserole.
Doesn't have all her cornflakes in one box.
One Fruit Loop shy of a full bowl.
One taco short of a combination plate.
A few feathers short of a whole duck.
All foam, no beer.
The cheese slid off her cracker.
Body by Fisher, brains by Mattel.
Couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel.
He fell out of the Stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down.
An intellect rivaled only by garden tools.
As smart as bait.
Chimney's clogged.
Doesn't have all his dogs on one leash.
Elevator doesn't go all the way to the top floor.
Forgot to pay her brain bill.
Her sewing machine's out of thread.
His antenna doesn't pick up all the channels.
His belt doesn't go through all the loops.
If she had another brain, it would be lonely.
Missing a few buttons on his remote control.
No grain in the silo.
Proof that evolution CAN go in reverse.
Receiver is off the hook.
Several nuts short of a full pouch.
Skylight leaks a little.
Slinky's kinked.
Surfing in Nebraska.
Too much yardage between the goal posts.
Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.
The lights are on, but nobody's home.
24 cents short of a quarter.
The wheel's spinning, but the hamster's dead.
He doesn't have all the chairs around the table.
Not the sharpest tool in the shed.
About as sharp as a thimble.
A few sandwiches short of a picnic basket.
When your I.Q. rises to 28, sell.
About as deep as a saucer of milk.
Not the brightest Crayola in the box!
A few fries short of a Happy Meal
The lights are on, but nobody is home.
A few cards short of a full deck.
About as deep as a thumb-tack
One can short of a six-pack
A photographic memory, but forgot to load the film.
Bright as Alaska in December.
The one that fell out of the family tree.
Some drink from the fountain of knowledge, but he just gargled.
Was left on the Tilt-A-Whirl a bit too long as a baby.
If you gave him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change back.
So dense, light bends around him.
Got into the gene pool while the lifeguard wasn't watching.